In all honesty, I haven't been the best at keeping my promises.
I told myself to try to update this space at least once a week, but evidently that didn't happen. Nor is this post going to be some self-enlightening shit that I attained the past couple of weeks.
It's been a tough sem. Like any other semester, they all say. It's a little bit different and a tad bit harder this time around, and it seems like I've just been blaming summer school for the downfall of my motivation and energy. There wasn't a proper break after summer school, straight away transitioning to the normal semester. Hence, this semester just feels extra long and exhausting, where all my energy was channeled into attempting to pass my 2 summer modules.
I've been all over the place but still stuck in the same state all at once. Does that make sense?
The past few weeks were just spent in and out of bed, attempting to get out there and attend classes and seem like I give a shit about my social life. I don't. This lack of motivation, botheration and urgency just feels like a tsunami that is about to approach and drown me, but at the same time I am nothing but nonchalant about it. The calm before the storm, is this what it is?
There hasn't been one point the past few weeks where I set myself goals to achieve for the day/week and I successfully accomplish them. Pathetic and weak. I know. I won't even give myself credit and say that I'm trying because I'm really not.
If you can't save yourself from the rut you put yourself in, then no amount of words and advice from people is going to salvage this impending doom you're about to face. By yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment