First Thoughts After Visiting The ICU For The First Time: V.

Sometimes life takes you from the law library trying to grasp the concept of bonds and credit risk as though it is the hardest shit you've ever studied, to scolding the receptionist at the A&E department because I have never heard someone (from the A&E!!) so unsympathetic, rude and annoyed after simply asking a few questions so, "could you perhaps have some TACT, especially for someone working in the A&E, what kind of attitude is this", to finding myself sitting in the waiting room to the ICU on a Tuesday night, acting as if I was the cousin of a girl I've never met before.

Everything I knew about this girl was hurriedly scribbled down on the back of my blackball order receipt- her name and her birthday. That's all I knew about her, and then suddenly, while trying to figure out what happened to her, with a few Facebook searches and googling, things started to get pieced together: A facebook photo showing that they went to grampians on Monday, vicroads reporting a car accident today at 6 pm somewhere along grampians, and then an article saying that 3 of the people involved in the accident were tourists. 

It's so scary, how traffic and accident news that we so often passively glance through or hear on the radio are actually affecting REAL people. To large extents, even. It's perhaps ignorance on my part, and to only realise it now... but the magnitude of it all... it's still something that I'm trying to comprehend. 

Having her parents - complete strangers call me, was the first time I heard pure fear and worry for their loved one, in the ICU, 6069km away from them. They weren't within reach, but a stranger like me was waiting right outside the ICU for news about their daughter. 

"If you see her, tell her mummy and daddy loves her and she will make it through." 

"Okay auntie, I will." 

I still get goosebumps when I think about that. 

Being someone that is absolutely terrible with hospitals, terrible I mean like my knees turn real jelly-like at the thought of blood and I feel lightheaded and anxious with the overpowering sterile smell (which has a terrible association with death in my mind), but being able to make it to the door of the ICU, prepping myself to go all out to see a stranger, all wired up and bloody, to pray for her, was something that was a considerable feat, given my crappy ability to handle hospitals. I never expected myself to be placed in a situation like this and I am so glad that through it all, I had Jodie and Anthony that were so willing to provide the support and comfort by just.... being there with me. 

V's parents are currently catching a red-eye flight to Melbourne right now and till now, they don't even know how she got involved in such a serious accident. They got a call saying, "your daughter might not make it", that's it. I can't even imagine how they must have felt and how much sanity they lost upon hearing such terrible news. Next thing they knew, they're on a flight to Melbourne, on a cab to the ICU. 

It's been such an unpredictable Tuesday night, and through this experience, it has really allowed me to sort quite a bit of my self-indulgent, narcissistic perspectives into place. The fragility of life has too often been taken for granted and the lesson that life is uncertain is something that I should be learning how to embrace.  

I am so tired... but there is so much to be thankful for and I hope that by writing this, tonight's incident can serve as a reminder for myself that you should always help someone to the best you can, regardless if you know them or not. 

V may not be someone I hold onto dearly - I only know her by the scribbles on the back of my blackball order receipt, her one FaceBook profile picture I have access to, and now we're also fake cousins (i lied to the hospital), but a life is still a life. She has people that love her so much and while she's fighting for her life on that bed and through the CT scans tonight, her parents are fighting back tears and hoping, praying and wishing for a miracle only God can provide for their beautiful daughter. 

I can only do the same.

(edit: I am sosososo amazed by the crazy amount of support the family is getting from everyone that heard about this unfortunate incident. Be it from strangers, family friends, acquaintances etc. Humanity is real, and it is beautiful y'all. Never hesitate on reaching out to help people when they are caught up in crappy circumstances.)